Monday, May 19, 2008

Dealing with humanity - staying calm n'cool

Time to apply meditation, and inner peace? (All the liberally dished philo one reads about everywhere - columns, self-help books, tv shows).

I've a sense of humor | I'm not the only one that encounters these |
I'm trying to tell myself these aren't worth the aggravation:

- People that walk four across in front of me on a running track. Need to hiss to pass these jokers.
- Idiot kids that run across an apartment driveway not watching for cars
- Their idiot parents
- Articles by Somini Sengupta in the New York Times (or anywhere, actually).
- Geriatrics that talk loudly at the park at 630am. Not a care about it being a quiet hour.
- Anyone that, during a call, passes the phone to a III party that I don't know, or don't want to talk to - ever, or at that time. It's incredible the number of people that are insensitive to this.
- Overweight girls that hog the treadmill at a punishing 2 miles/hour. And on the phone. For what - so they can get a greasy sandwich right after?
- 'My problem is I'm very frank'/'I tell it like it is'. Come on, every one says that. Ever hear anyone say they are not frank?
- Amway zombies that try to recruit others in supermarkets. [Threaten to report them for soliciting business in another business]
- 'The weather here is so unpredictable. Changes in a trice.' Sure - when is it not in the Northeast, Midwest, Northwest?
- When asked 'How come you're quiet?' in a gathering. Can't one be?
- 'First/Largest/Tallest in Asia' meaningless records
- 'It's not the heat. It's the humidity'
- 'How come you have no accent?'
- Assuming someone's personality based on a zodiac sign. Girls - intolerable, Guys - gay.
- Figuring out anyone's zodiac sign. 'Oh, June 8. You're a ____'. Girls - intolerable, Guys - gay.
- Shaking hands with most people
- 'This city ___, is different'. What city isn't?
- Telesales calls and reporting these calls to the registry
- Knowing anyone's car license plate number. Creepy.
- 'This year in _____ (always the very year you happen to be anyplace), there aren't great fall colors/a white winter/warm summer. [Else, we always have amazing colors in the fall/a white xmas/warm summer.]
- Multiple doorbell rings within seconds of each other
- Resilience of NYC/Bombay/wherever
- Tales of anyone's grandchildren. The tellers never stop. Worse if there's another grandparent with a competing tale.
- Wedding pictures
- Asking for/knowing/remembering anyone's birthday other than that of a close relative/significant other
- Someone else's vacation pictures
- Calling a phone number and asking who's answering

Should these get to me? >> Y/N >> N>> Smile >> Calm down

*Will report on progress