Back to the Future – April 11, 2021

So, I’m just done with my daily VR run – it was fantastic for I could choose the scenery I wanted to run in. Yes, the running parks are still closed for you know what (COVID-19 maybe?). This morning I chose the English countryside, much like in the song ‘The Safety Dance’ (look it up). Only that I hadn’t moved from my living room at all. 

Then my fitness trainer shows up – she’s a real person from a branded gym, but she’s also not in my room. Having finished my workout, I step into my sanitizer shower. There’s one at my front door too. That’s the spray-only version for visitors. That telemedicine cable network reminds me that it’s time for my low blood pressure consultation. I’m now wired automatically to machines that are far away. It also pricks my finger to transmit a blood sample to the (VR) doctor. A doctor that can treat multiple patients simultaneously. A screen displays all my stats since the start of 2021. 

I hear a buzzing sound and a beep at my balcony. 

It’s the grocery drone that can carry up to 30 lbs of supplies. It waits until I unload and ‘Mukesh bhai’ confirms he’s received payment automatically. Bhai has 6 ‘El Kirana-2’ drones that can cover a radius of 1 mile. Then a friend calls in to ask if I’m in for his birthday party. I said ‘sure 8 o’ clock?’. At the party the drinks – delivered by drone home – were not virtual. My smart shirt tells me I’ve had enough to drink (hey, who’s driving? No one!). It also tells me that I have been talking to someone too long. 

Zzz time, and the mandatory call from the telemedicine network to ask if I’d like to be vaccinated right now. I’m no anti-vaxxer, but I’m still not convinced. Yet. I let the Roomba do its thing overnight. It’s no slacker, and covers a housekeeper’s cost very well. I have not stepped out of my apartment in 8 months. What reminds me that there is an outside world is not the chirping of birds and kids playing – it’s non-stop ambulance sirens. 

The twice-weekly automated call comes from the United States consulate. The next evacuation airplane takes off on Saturday. Really?! Would anyone want to go there now? But thank you, Department of State – much appreciated, really. You were just trying to help. Oh, I forgot about that wedding Wednesday! 

Quickly found something on a retail store that fitted me, and let me see what I looked like. So, ‘Here comes the drone again’, like that Eurythmics rain song. The wedding was great, much like the party, but with lots of Bollywood style dancing. The bride looked a tad stone faced, like an infamous Bollywood farce movie. Indian readers, you know what I’m talking about. Things have gotten worse. All of us want to return to 2016, before someone became president. That’s it. Like many others this spring of 2021, 

I am Legend. © 2020 | Venkat Srinivasan